infuse your spirit ~ feng shui your life with jayme barrett

The holidays can bring up loads of excitement and happiness and I wish that for you. And yet, for some people, nervousness and dread emerges as you think about re-connecting with certain family members. There is anticipation and expectation, both good and bad. So, you may find yourself feeling excited on one hand but skittish on the other. Sound familiar?

Whether you’re looking forward to holiday gatherings, feeling a tad nervous or both, I want to share an effective tool for making it as positive as possible!

I’m all about tools and techniques for creating a happier life. I do want to mention one caveat to everything I’m about to share though.

If you have decided NOT to go to your family’s Thanksgiving or even host one because it doesn’t support your health and happiness, I support that decision 100%.

If you have created boundaries in order to preserve your sanity, I’m glad you found the strength to do it and that is something to be super grateful for!

That being said, the technique I’m sharing today is called WOOP and it helps you prepare for many types of scenarios for a more positive outcome. It turns wishful positive thinking into a reality by envisioning your best outcome and simultaneously, planning for any obstacles that may come your way. Naming the obstacles may seem “negative” at first but let’s face it, they can be a reality so if we acknowledge their possibility, we can plan to counteract them for a more joyful day.

Keep loving-kindness as your north star AND remember that how you react can make all the difference in your experience.

WOOP for a Holiday Gathering

W – WISH: What is your deepest wish for Thanksgiving (or any other special day)?

O – OUTCOME: What are the best specific outcomes for the day? Imagine them manifesting. (Jayme’s additional tip – Send pink light to the whole scenario you are envisioning.)

O – OBSTACLE: What is the obstacle or obstacles (within or without) that may stand in your way to a great day?

P – PLAN: Form an if/then plan. If you already know what kind of events may happen during this special day (within or without), you can be ready for them with positive solutions at your disposal.

Take out a piece of paper and let’s create a Thanksgiving WOOP using the above prompts.

Below is SAMPLE scenario that might resonate since we’ve all heard similar ones. You can create your own for any occasion.

Wish – My wish is to feel happy, healthy, grateful and connected with friends and family on Thanksgiving. I want to remember my blessings and also be of service in some way. It’s a THANKS & GIVING day.

Outcome – Bond and share in a heartfelt way with family members & friends. Enjoy the delicious meal but not feel ill afterwards. Have at least one meaningful conversation in addition to regular catch-up sessions. Do my best not to get triggered or upset by certain people’s behavior. Feel thankful for all that I have and grateful for this moment. Go to bed feeling happy with how I showed up and did my best to create a positive day for myself and others.

Obstacle – Eating way too much, feeling stuffed and annoyed with myself. Being triggered by a friend or family member that depletes my energy. Feeling overwhelmed by family dynamics and sinking into an abyss of frustration, resentment or anger. (not good!) Feeling tired from work. Not having as much energy or feeling as social as I’d hoped. Having a hard time in my life and don’t want to put it onto others. Getting pulled into political disagreements. (All or none these may be true but they are somewhat universal).

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A SUGGESTED PLAN based on above scenario – Create your own.

1)      Gratitude & Intention: Get a good night’s sleep and write your blessings in your journal when you wake up. Start the day already feeling and seeing your desired outcome. Ask the Divine (God, Universe, Higher Power, Nature) for protection and guidance to make this day a positive one. Send pink light and love to specific people as well as to your vision for the best outcome.

2)      Food: Eat during the day so you’re not starving when the dinner is ready. Bring almonds or other healthy snacks to keep hunger at bay. When it’s time to indulge in the deliciousness, eat mindfully and remember to use the size of the palm of your hand for portion size. When you want to run up for seconds, remember dessert is still waiting. Indulge in a mindful way!

3)      Giving: Help the hostess or if you are the hostess, ask for help. Be of service in some way. Especially if you’re feeling low, helping someone else makes us feel good about ourselves. Share love and kindness whenever you can. “Be the change you want to see in the world” as Gandhi said. Or as Liz Gilbert shares, “Be the LOVE in the room.”

4)      Depleting Person/s: Before the gathering, do some “energy prep” by sending them love and pink light from your heart. Set your intention for positive interaction but have a game plan for something different. In general, it might be a good idea to have the group refrain from discussing politics or any other polarizing topics. The host can request this. In addition. seriously limit time with the folks who trigger you. You can sit at the other end of table or get busy by serving/preparing food or washing dishes etc.

If you find yourself in a conversation with this person and he/she begins a negative rant, have a set of responses ready to help steer the discussion in a more positive direction. If that doeesn’t work, excuse yourself as soon as possible. Remember, they are just being themselves and it’s most likely not personal. As my mom would say, “that person is just being who they are and you are in their way.” It’s important to protect your own energy so go into another room (bathroom always works for me) and cut the cord. Send them a quick blessing of pink light (this helps you disconnect too). Then, take a walk, re-center yourself and join other joyful conversations. Remember, your health and happiness is a priority!

5)      Energy Level: Plan a break from the festivities by taking a walk in nature if the weather permits. Slip into another room and lay down for a short rest. Listen to an inspiring podcast or bring a book for 15 minutes of relaxation. After the event, cut the cord and take a salt bath. If you’re hosting, do a space clearing if there were any disturbances.

6)      Connection: At the table or afterward, share as a group what you’re grateful for right now or this year. Bring a board game or card game for bonding and fun. Make a point to reach out to people you want to connect with. You don’t need to share everything going on in your life. You can choose to disconnect from your own hardships for the day so you can receive positive energy from the group. Conversely, you could reach out to a loved one to tell them a snippet of what’s going on in your life and ask if you can be in touch with them for some added support. In fact, here are some tips on thriving in the midst of challenges.

Feeling Good is in our Control (most of the time)

Creating this type of plan gives you the tools to take control of how YOU want to feel. WOOP helps you envision what you want. It also brings to the surface, in a conscious way, what may become an obstacle so you have a solid plan to overcome it for a positive result.

You have a choice in any situation about how you want to react and behave. Your reactions have the power to create waves of positive energy or the opposite. We don’t have control of others but I do feel that we can gently shift the energy and spiral ourselves and others upward. I know this because I practice it myself. I’ve found that keeping my ultimate outcome in mind brings me greater peace and happiness.

When we focus on our deepest wish and plan for all scenarios, we’ll know what steps to take to create the best holiday gathering possible.

Sending positive energy your way! – ♥ Jayme